Bridge over Troubled Waters

Did I say thank you? Really say it? Express it so clearly that you knew beyond a shadow of a doubt what you have been to me?

To my mom and dad~
There were times over the last year when you were the only thing that kept me going. You carried me through...possibly even dragged me. You helped me parent and provided for me. You held me as I cried more tears than I think is even fair for a parent to have to catch. Together, got me through nights that felt like a new day would never come. I'm not sure how you kept lifting me up when your own hearts were so heavy.

Much of the last year feels like a blur, much of it you laid yourselves down for me, shielded and protected me. And there were moments when it felt like "friends could not be found" but you were still there.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for the love that only parents can give. The kind that is so sacrificial, selfless, and as much as one's whole heart can give. Over and over you have done that for me. How blessed I am...more than I deserve...so much more.

Thank you with all my screw ups and bad choices you always made me feel like you were so proud of me.
Thank you for teaching me how to love so big, modeling such grace and forgiveness.
It's hard to write "thank you", it almost sounds trivial. Gratitude seems like a far more appropriate expression. Somehow seems closer to the emotion I feel. I am so grateful. It's so far beyond anything financial. I felt like you kept me alive. Kept the "real Cher" from ruin. I feel like you saved me. Saved my family. Saved my heart. So...so...so grateful.

Thank you for being my bridge over very troubled waters. I love you so very much. I am so thankful, grateful, proud and honored to be your daughter.

All that Hair!!!

Demi girl, she makes us smile...beam in fact! We never know from day to day what kind of "do" she will be sporting. Her hair is like a conversation piece...an ice breaker if you will. We have talked to a lot of strangers all because of the baby's look for the day! It's gotten to be quite the joke in our family...what will Demi look like when she wakes up? All of our girls were blessed with natural curls, but something happens to Demi's hair over the course of a day that sets her apart. I style it the same way daily...but it always ends up looking "uniquely different". This baby has brought more joy to our family than what we could have ever imagined. We have managed to capture just a few of the styles that have brought us smiles. Enjoy!

A Day of LOVE.

I hope Valentine's Day found you all feeling so very loved. We felt so blessed to share it together. My day started with a coffee from my favorite place "A Second Cup". We shared lots of loves and snuggles with our girls. Erik bought all of his sweethearts chocolate roses (huge hit with Taya!) We took at drive downtown Calgary. In the evening we met up with Lanie and Jason and enjoyed a fabulous, lingering dinner at Chili's. One of those great meals where you start with fun drinks and appy's and share a meal because everyone is also planning to share dessert. We carried on for some gaming at the casino and all agreed we came home winners in love even though we didn't win our fortunes! A childless evening, great conversation, awesome food, lots of laughs, romantic gestures and a whole night of little flirtations...just left us with a feeling of AAAAAAHHHHHHH! It was wonderful.

Even better than that was waking up February 15th and having my first thought be...
I love you more today!

This is what True Love looks like...

Aren't they beautiful to look at? My Grandparents. The best example of true, committed, keep moving forward, stick together, still make my stomach have butterflies, take care of you, finish what we started, forgiving, long suffering, best friend, FOR ALL OF OUR DAYS kind of love!! Can you imagine having the same Valentine for 60 years?? Can you imagine loving someone the way you said you would when you took your vows? In all the good times and all the bad. In sickness or in health...even when you don't know how many years you will get of each. I hope that is what we look like to our children and grandchildren and great grandchildren.


Idea #10
Find someone who you can model your marriage after. A couple who has loved through many years...a lot happens in a lifetime. People who went the distance...just held each other's hand as they went. People who protected their love.

"People who don't ever quit each other"
(Brandon Gimse, 6 years old when asked what he thinks being married is.)

To my grandparents...thanks for "not quitting each other", for loving each other well, for letting no one else put assunder, for showing me what true love really looks like!

I love how beautifully the "Love Chapter" reads from the Message Bible:
1 Corinthians 13 (The Message)
Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.
Love never dies

Behind closed Doors...

I was looking around our room today and observing that we have a such a beautiful space to call our own. This is the first time in years we haven't had a tv in our room...experts will say that is a sure fire way to keep the romance fires burning! In our en suite we have a lovely soaker tub with candles all around it. The tub meets up with a huge shower complete with clear glass doors and a rain forest shower head, it's beautifully tiled and could comfortably accommodate 6 people at once! Just gorgeous! It is the first brand new home we have ever lived in and I feel so spoiled.

Then I glance over and my eyes meet "romance killer"....good morning Demi girl!! Yes, the crib is in our room. It started as something so sweet and endearing. Erik wanted to be able to wake up with her in the mornings and stare at her as she slept at night and so I was fine with it. I knew how much he had missed her. Three months later I'm so over it. I tell him weekly..."It is time to lose the roommate!"

A couple of weeks ago I took the situation into my own hands while everyone was busy doing something else. I waded through the pit Taya refers to as her room (she is a total packrat like her daddy). Two hours later, the floors were vacuumed, garbage bags sat outside the door, clothes were all put away, pictures were hung and I was ready to disassemble the crib and plan the wild "party for two" in our room! It was all I had in me to not be wearing lingerie while I took this project on. I was sooooo excited to have the kids all out of our space. I pushed Taya's bed right against the wall...hmmm. I moved it to the other wall...ok. I call for Erik, "Babe, how many square feet is Taya's room? Do you think she really needs a dresser?"

The new plan. Erik is going to be developing the basement when we have the money and building 2 more bedrooms. So, I will wait and be patient and enjoy waking up to our sweet girl say "hi" for a few more months. But, it did get me thinking. A lot of times the one room of the house that is not pulled together is the parent's bedroom. I have seen one of my girl friends declare it the "laundry room" folding station and how could you not with 7 unfolded loads sitting like a mountain on the bed? Often, it's the last room I get to on a cleaning day. Why make the bed...we are going to get back in it? At another friends house I have seen it be a dumping ground for things that should technically go in the garage. Unless you really are having a romantic rendezvous once a week in the pup tent that's set up in the corner of the room it probably doesn't belong there. This post is not to be judgemental of other's standards of housekeeping. I just think it is the one place in the house you can stake a claim. I look forward to doing just that. Making a room that is a place we like to relax in. A place that it calming and relaxing. A room for a lot of lovin!

Once I have achieved that I will post pictures. Right now, the soaker tub has 5 barbies waiting for the next tub time. There is a basket of laundry by the door, dolls on the floor and the bed is not made...thank goodness there is a fireplace in the living room!

Idea #9
If it is available to you. Make your room "your space", a place that can be a romantic getaway. A few candles, chocolate, massage oil, music. Sounds like a whole lot of fun to me!

Everything I own??

I wish profound thoughts came to me at 10:00 am. It seems I can stay up until all hours listening to music! I love almost every style and era of music...I am realizing I like a lot more from the 70's than I thought. It was at 1:50 am when I finally remembered this diddy by "bread". At that point, I had to listen to it a couple times and then I pondered the words until about 3 am.

This week I go back to Lynden for a visit. I still often refer to it as "home". It has only been 3 months since we moved. I am so excited! I get to see my Kim, hold and love on Kestin...finally I get to kiss and snuggle that baby! I get to be in the company of my wonderful girlfriends who bring me so much joy. I get to be with my mom and dad, who I miss everyday. I can't wait to see the staff at Dutch Mother's they are like a family to me. It feels like there aren't enough hours in my little weekend jaunt to fit in all the people I would like to. I just hope I get to share a little moment with everyone I have missed so much.

Right before Erik and I "officially" got back together, we were talking with Linda about not being able to let it go of each other and the relationship. And she said, "You were left with everything but him and it was not enough. What would happen if you let go of it all and clung to him? Because I have a feeling none if matters if it's not with him."

Wow...I hadn't thought of it like that. I had a beautiful home, my kids, my same wonderful best friends, my family, my job. But...I didn't have him (and he didn't have me).

So, last night I was scouring for this song because although I couldn't remember the words at the moment, I just knew they said what I had felt when I left Lynden to be with Erik.

When I left, it was with open hands. Seriously, letting go and letting God. I felt like I released all the relationships that mattered so much to me, that I had clung so tightly to for so long, and let go praying that Erik would meet those needs in me... and if he couldn't that God would.

I love this song..."nobody else could ever know the part of me that can let go...and I would give up everything I own give up my life, my heart, my home.

I felt like I did just that...I ended up with all of those same things...I just got to do it with him.


Idea #8
You get to come up with this one on your own!
What could you give up to make your relationship work? It is a hard one to confront. For me it was all the other relationships I put in front of ours. It might be time, work, other people, substances, the gym, shopping. What would happen if one time this week we put our spouse where we would usually put that thing that comes easier to choose?